Tuesday, August 4, 2009

The Start

I was just ten years old when I first felt my heart beat for someone. Of course, as a kid and as oblivious as any child was, it never occured to me that that feeling was something special. For years I kept on glancing his way whenever he was around, had butterflies on my stomach when we talk and felt alive after unexpected encounters with him. But within those years, his presence only brought confusion and even hurt. For four years I had hoped... hoped that he might notice and return the feeling but then, it never happened. I was just left hanging all the time... He left me hanging.

And now he was breaking my heart into a million of pieces again and again. Pieces I couldn't find a way of putting back because whenever I saw him with his girl together, I felt tormented and was slowly dying inside. I felt so broke and the pain. The pain was unbearable and it's as if a stilleto knife kept on plunging in my scarred heart.

But I kept on smiling.

A smile to cover up all these grieving and undeniable sadness which was ready to eat me up, the darkness hovering above me, ready to cloud my thoughts...

Take a glimpse on the life of a typical nobody at school, the life of a brokenhearted and the life of a someone hiding behind a mask full of pretenes.

My name is LoveLess and Loveless is what I really am.